hahahahahha
I've progressed a lot this year. I feel like I've felt out my direction in life and it's no longer as aimless and vague as it was the first semester. Instead of just daydreaming about what i really want to do, i feel like i now i'm using the tools i have to actually make it happen. i used to know it was possible but now i feel even closer to it.
oh tura, your quote is perfect, "i never try anything, i just do it"
This is all so common sense that I feel like it's dumb to write about it, but here you go:
So what I'm going to do is move to Los Angeles in May, find a place to live and a job within 2 weeks, begin saving money to take a motorcycle safety course and then to buy a motorcycle. I'm going to become a regular at a few clubs and find other people with similar passions, organize an old-school go-go night at a club and have the mashed potato down by then and hopefully be dancing with people that have experience with standard dances that I'm as of now still unfamiliar with so that I can expand my repertoire of movement.
I've decided that I want to be in a film. My role will include riding motorcycles, go-go dancing, and generally being bad-ass. I'm thinking like cult film--it's so bad it's good kind of genre.
I've decided that I want to be in a film. My role will include riding motorcycles, go-go dancing, and generally being bad-ass. I'm thinking like cult film--it's so bad it's good kind of genre.
I know I need to keep really busy because otherwise I'm going to fall into existential despair. I cringe at how jaded I already am about humanity. I'm uncomfortable with it and I don't want to linger on this because it will destroy me, this is why I need to live as hard as I can. If I'm living that hard I won't have the time or energy to think about this SHIT.
I want people to be too strong and I am consistently disappointed and disgusted and I get pretty depressed. It's a little easier to live in a haze of emotional numbness towards this apparent TRUTH of mass humanity, but sometimes it's more frustrating not to feel anything (even anger) than it is to live hyper-aware and painfully.
And THAT is where I am right now.
3 comments:
much entertainment from the vid, my favorite part besides the fight in sand :) would have to be them playing chicken. I watched a related vid with Tura talking about sugarboxx(I think if I remember) I love that quote, I don't try anything I do it. Great inspiration. Plus the video was bad ass, she was much older but still young at heart...thats what it is all about. rock and roll
ohh...I like what you said.......
"I've decided that I want to be in a film. My role will include riding motorcycles, go-go dancing, and generally being bad-ass. I'm thinking like cult film--it's so bad it's good kind of genre."
hell ya, that be sick...do your thang.
I am going to add more comments because I feel like it. I see that you added some stuff to this post. I appreciate your disgust of mass humanity, I like that you don't just don't cope with it but say something. At least you are one of few that have courage to say something, it is a start, saying things people are trying to ignore or resist the existence of.
i like this...
"I know I need to keep really busy because otherwise I'm going to fall into existential despair. I cringe at how jaded I already am about humanity. I'm uncomfortable with it and I don't want to linger on this because it will destroy me, this is why I need to live as hard as I can. If I'm living that hard I won't have the time or energy to think about this SHIT."
I feel the same way. Think what you want about me, but I understand what you mean. I try to stay fucking in motion all the time, I can't linger, always something new to conquer...for me I try to live in the moment as much as possible. Having like minded company helps a bunch for me to cope, being around people that have the same vision or at least looking for a common experience.
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