if i could be anywhere, i'd have breakfast in NYC and fall asleep in San Francisco.
i've been thinking a lot about The Other "half" of my life. Wishing I could do the blues club boogie. i'm starting to get the itch again. I'm reading Dr. John's autobiography: Under A Hoodoo Moon. It is excellent. One of the smoothest-reading books I've read in a long time. It's partially as fascinating as it is because it's history I know nothing about. New Orleans in the 50's.
my aggro white gangsta neighbors who happen to share a wall with my bedroom are having another one of their lovely rap festivities. tonight the musical entertainment is refreshingly splattered with bits of 90s metal hard rock. Wonderous.
Can't wait for 6am, when I need to get up and go to work.
Tonight I stole a beautiful headband. maybe someday i'll mature past that cheap adrenaline rush. instead of doing laundry i rode nadia's bike and she took jenna's and we went to urban outfitters in harvard square and i found a book called something the guide to a hedonistic lifestyle, which was pretty much perfect and made for me. but i'm trying to save money so i didn't buy it.
i've been thinking about being a B type personality a lot since Andy told me that's what he thought i primarily was. won't deny it, 'cause it's true. my motto has always been, "if it isn't fun, why're you doing it?" or, more positively, "if it feels good, do it."
i then wandered around looking at these beautiful clothes and accessories that were so soft and feminine in a good way that i really wanted to be girly. like their lingerie. AND now i guess feathers are in fashion, sooooo i died a couple times. their SMALL flasks are $18! wait. that wasn't girly. sorry.
i ALMOST lost one of my mom's motorcycle gloves she gave me and we had to ride halfway back to find it. i should never own anything important, EVER. because i WILL lose it. it's a miracle i've found my motorcycle ring as many times as i have.
wow. so that was about art.
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6 comments:
I think ummm we should move to New York first instead of LA. that's just me though. New Orleans in the 50s now that sounds interesting. I'll have to find that book.
I really like the sound of your aggro white gangsta neighbors.
don't worry about maturing past stealing, I still steal all the time! some people call it a problem I call it a passion. I'm thinking of moving up to more expensive things, since I just figured out you steal expensive shoes the same way you steal diamonds. weird huh? I should get a partner in crime. hahahahaha I am so hyper today, imagine me saying that in a super hyper voice.
sometimes I'm not sure I like hedonists cause they don't have balance in their lives, but then again they don't want any. so I guess it works out for them, but sometimes I think that term is thrown around to much.
OMG! that is like the exact same slogan I was raised with. cept it was "if it ain't fun don't do it", that's why I dropped out of school like 5 times. I'm glad to hear you believe that to. feathers are so in fashion! doesn't it just make your heart melt? I always wore feathers in my hair anyway, but now I can do so with out funny looks. Flasks CAN BE GIRLY! silver ones with nice details in the metal are to die for! I have a flask it's not silver cause those are expensive but it's got flowers and a little bird on it. it's totally girly. as are cigarette holders and lighters, you just gotta know how to do them right. oh and in the email I sent you I said you had told me your latest groupie thoughts but I meant you had not. so tell me them!
much love.
but i'm going to LA for the music. if the music was in NYC, i'd move to NYC. i know, i love new york too but it's not where i need to be right now.
we are talking about this with heavy sarasm, right?
i don't really feel compulsive about stealing. it's just when i want or need something that is WAY over-priced, or something i think should be free (like gum or chapstick). i also try to have morals about it, i think i just remembered that back when i was a freshman in high school i stole from salvation army, which is kinda shitty i guess. i used to steal cassette tapes and books from there. now it's just places that are corporate. but i have no desire to steal big things. yet?
well i mean, does one hedonist to the next have to be identical? i think i run between. i probably like to think of myself as a hedonist, but i'm not ACTUALLY one. at least, all the time. i also think that there aren't many people who can or will or are willing to have fun in my way. like i don't want to get smashed all the time, sometimes i just want to play tag or roll around on the floor or vandalize dumb things or dance in the middle of somewhere appropriate. i just want to listen to good music and make my body feel like the universe. i guess that's my hedonism.
i don't like it when things i like are in fashion. i want to change that, but that's true. like the fact that RUGBY whatever that is, has their storefront window with motorcycle stuff. it makes my heart melt in the horrible way.
i like being the only one doing something.
okay, true again about flasks. someday i want to own only things i really like. even though i'll probably lose all of it. a silver flask with engravings.
okay! i'll write you my groupie thoughts... they're not new anymore because i had them after i talked with amanda.
love back to you. did you get my riverboat post card??
It's 2 am and I am still hyper, I had a little lull but now I'm back! but I have this awful cough! it's been with me like 3-4 days now. I always get coughs.
Ok I get your point, music, need to be where it is, LA. I'm still scheming up NY plans though personally. or maybe, I don't know anymore, life can be so iffy. But I was wondering what else does LA offer you other than music? not questioning your motives or reasons, or trying to talk you into anything.[I know it sounded like a used car salesman line] I was just thinking about NYC vs. LA in what they had to offer me and I was wondering what has got you into LA.
yes sarcasm abounds in this comment.
I don't think it's a compulsive thing for me. I never steal anything I don't need or want and if I can afford it I'm probably gonna buy it. but it's something I tend to enjoy at times and it appears to be one of the few places in my life where I lack ethics. cept for you know I'm not gonna steal from individual people just companies. stealing from the salvation army is kinda shitty. I don't think stealing a pair of insanely overpriced shoes is a big thing. "yet?" do you suspect you ever will? I doubt you will most people don't.
no that's my point hedonists aren't identical, it's an actual philosophy. with many different versions and means of belief and definitions of the pleasures that are at the heart of it. and to me it seems slightly wrong to throw the word around as much as people do. since it's something that people actually believe in and live their lives by. people say it like it's a fun phrase, something to make the sound wild. you don't say you're christian to make yourself sound pure. but that's cause that's a religion I guess, people treat philosophies different. you say you live your life by Kafka to sound smart and you say you're hedonist to sound daring. but they should be given as much respect as any other form of thought that helps guide life. not that you did that, just I know people who do. it irks me. do I seem weird in this comment? like I don't know, I don't think this will come off the way I wanted it to, any of the above. anyway moving on. like any philosophy hedonism can be whatever you make it.
I kinda hate it too. especially cause you know not a single person who now wears whatever you did will recognize you wore it first. they're just gonna credit some girl like cory kennedy. but I love it cause now all the things I wanted to wear are SO easy to find. like you know all those leotards american apparel sells? it's like one of their most popular things. anyway I wanted shit like that a year ago and now they sell them like hot cakes! sorta annoying. same thing with knee and thigh high socks that was me in 06! now it's everyone. hey you know what would be weird? if the american apparel people got the idea that leotards would make great fashion the exact same way I did! from one of the superman/batman issues when supergirl first shows up on earth. she was wearing something like that in one of those issues. that would be weird. and I just made myself sound like a total dork hhahahha. oh well now you know, I'm not cool. I never said I was though.
well they'll still be new to me.
I did get your postcard! on christmas day no less, someone finally went to check the mail. I love your daydreams of our future life. they make it all sound so magical and perfect. everything has the right timing. like the deep ocean waves we swell up and float for miles, and we never feel the drag of the shore.
I got this photography book by one of my new favorite photographers william claxton who was this great jazz photographer. his pictures are amazing! anyway this book is about new orleans in the 60s. it's beautiful and it's great to sit here and imagine what it would have been like to be there. but I just realized I could never imagine what it's like to be there now. I'm still gonna look for that book you talked about.
"i just want to listen to good music and make my body feel like the universe."
Amazing quote. My heart jumped.
I have a really weird feeling about this post and i might delete it because i don't know, i don't really want to talk about stealing on this blog.
I also feel REALLY shitty about stealing from the places I did. I was younger but I don't know. I don't really want to talk about it anymore.
I have really weird vibes right now. I feel like I can't wash my hands enough times. i'm going to try to get out of it.
ok
well i don't like the east coast. i love NY, but it still snows or is terribly, ridiculously humid. Also, the people are different. I'm a west coast baby, it's where my heart is. LA offers me the networking I need to do to get ahead in what i want to do. including groupieing. though i'm kind of moving away from the title. i've always had an aversion to titles. i think the title worked and may still work for me now, but i don't want to need the title. i need(ed) it because it wasn't natural, all my friends were/are musicians or involved with music in some way, but i didn't just meet the musicians i loved like, through friends or something. i met them as musicians, while they were gigging.
I need to go to LA because I've felt it calling me for over a year now. I'm going to miss everything if i don't get out there asap. I SAW (felt) the stuff that's happening in Laurel Canyon right now was going to happen, two years ago. Now it IS happening, and i'm STILL not out there.
i bought a book that is a collection of Oscar Wilde's works. I'm going to write the rest of this in a message to you because this comment is too long.
oh lindsay. maybe we should become better friends.
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